Funny rap lyrics & punchlines: Page 6

Sober as a gopher? (Nope)

Higher than a rollercoaster? (Yup)

Star Wars? (Nope)

Yoda? (Yup)

I will endanger your species like an ostrich (Ha)

Hold you hostage and crazy feed you swine sausage! (Ha)

I've seen it all, like I'm John Mayer's penis hole

I'm a wizard of a word, that's what you heard

And anything else is quite absurd

I'm quick to blast a goon

And break a motherfucker like a plastic spoon

Call your mama phone, let her know that she raised a bitch

Live like the Kennedy's — above the law

You tremble for my treble, you're begging for the bass

The voice is too vicious, the same as the pace

I love green so much, all my money fuckin' moldy

Hi, Benjamin, Grant, Jackson, I'm just spoken

In 10% I popped your head in a microwave

I'm into blenders now, so you better behave

Move in silence, gotta be a prophet, is it really worth it?

I could build a house with all the brick I got

Bitches spend a lifetime tryna get this hot

And if her head too big, I could make that pop

That's a mathematical madness I'm on

The savage, the strong

The marriage and bond of havoc and song

In me I trust, I turn these niggas into cosmic dust (Okay!)

In the Planned Parenthood, playing God with your mom check

You ain't even been to prom yet

I make yo' mouthpiece obese like Della Reese

When I release you lose teeth like Little Cease

Player please blood floods your dungarees

She got ironic tattoos on her back

That ain't ironic bitch, I love Rugrats

I live on the edge, I’ll send you a postcard

Fuck a phone, I got a chip on my neck that’s a close call

When Nipsey braided his hair, he was trying to be AI? When AI braided his, he trying to be Snoop? When Snoop braided his, he Harriet Tubman?

Tryna make a new Nicki, where the factory?

We gettin' to the money like it's Goldman Sachs

Didn't have an umbrella, now I'm soaked in stormy weather

I don't say much, but I hear everything that is said

It don't go over my head

Like, "That's not a riot; it's a feast, let's eat!"

History is a snare struggling, rope ever more taut

On my death bed, chuckling about all that time I bought

Afrofuturist Acura Legend on the cinderblocks

See, before I knew an A&R, I was weighin' hard

Back when Nicki Minaj was in a trainin' bra

I'm on the top floor getting brains, higher learning

Yeah, roll up the dank and pour the drank

And watch your stank (Why?) 'cause Doggy's on the gank

Don't be coy, avoid, or make void the topic

'Cause that ain't gonna stop it

Lick it right the first time or you gotta do it over

Like it's rehearsal for a Tootsie commercial

Everybody wanted Yandhi

Then Jesus Christ did the laundry

Head-to-head in the street, I'll leave you dead on your feet

I am runnin' this bitch, you are just a dog walker

I smoke the holy herb, get high as hell and meditate

Swear to God, shit's so good, fat boy'll levitate

I got a package like a gangsta, G-mail

See hoochies pop coochies, for Gucci's and Lucci

Find me in my Mitsubishi, eatin' sushi, bumpin' Fugees

You thought I was feelin' you? (Nah)

That nigga a munch

If you don't dig me, than nigga you can sue me

Because the shit that I be saying ain't worse than no western movie

All of a sudden Dr. Dre is the G Thang

But on his old album covers, he was a she-thang

I cut so much, you thought I was a DJ

She was a jelly to my peanuts, Mars to Venus

The Earth to my sun, moon, and stars, we added up mathematically

It's like I had a bad habit, B

As I breeze through? Two in the mornin'

And the party's still jumpin' 'cause my mama ain't home

I'm a fuckin' walkin' paradox, no, I'm not

Held it down, I ain't lose it (Nah)

Think he told, but can't prove it (Think he told on me)

You hear sounds of the pot scrapin'

Me, I only hear music (Uh)

Oh, where's Mama? She's takin' a little nap in the trunk

Oh, that smell? Dada must've runned over a skunk

I know I told you I'd be true

But Brenda got a big ole butt, so I'm leaving you

My mind designer, you a dime? I'll dine you

Madonna mama, body bottle? You're fine, I'm finer (I'm better than you, bitch)

Now what's a coffin with a scratched ceiling?

I think being humble is sexy.

Switchin' speeds like Bruce Lee ridin' a Fuji in a movie

L's a rebel on a higher level, go get the shovel

'Cause I'm the only son of the motherfuckin' Devil

Dead in the middle of Little Italy

Little did we know that we riddled two middlemen who didn't do diddly

I get money to kill time, dead clocks

Biggie, Biggie, Biggie, can't you see?

Sometimes your words just hypnotize me

Better pass the mic in the afterlife

If so, let me spit flows, good enough to offer to God as a sacrifice

So while you fuming, I'm consuming mango juice under Polaris

You just embarrassed 'cause it's your last tango in Paris

I don't budge, don't want much, just a roof and a porch

And a Porsche, and a horse, and unfortunately, but of course

An assortment of torches that scorches the skin

The number one draft, I'm New York's pick

And I don't lose like them dudes, on the New York Knicks

The passion of Pac, the depth of Nas, circa nine three

Mix the mind of Brad Jordan and Chuck D and find me

I spit with the diction of Malcolm or say a Bun B

Prevail through Hell, so Satan get ye behind me

I got a treasure chest up top my neck, these pirates can't touch my jewels